6.1 INTRODUCTION
Every day, we respond to thousands on non-verbal cues and behaviours including postures, facial expression, eye gaze, gestures, and tone of voice. From our handshakes to our hairstyles, non-verbal details reveal who we are and impact how we relate to other people.
Scientific research on non-verbal communication and behaviour began with the 1872 publication of Charles Darwin’s The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals. Since that time, there has been an abundance of research on the types, effects, and expression of unspoken communication and behaviour.
There are times when we send mixed messages – we say one thing, yet our body language reveals something different. This non-verbal language will affect how we act and react to our customers, and how they react to us.
6.2 NON – VERBAL COMMUNICATION TYPES
People can communicate information in numerous ways, so pay attention to things like eye contact, gestures, posture, body movement, tone of voice, etc. All these signals can convey important information that isn’t put into words. By paying closer attention to other people’s non-verbal behaviours, you will improve your own ability to communicate non-verbally.
Sounds
Sounds such as “ahhh, ummm, ohhh,” uttered with similar eye and facial gestures, communicate understanding and emotional connection. More than words, these sounds are the language of interest, understanding and compassion.
Tone When Speaking
Your tone of voice can convey a wealth of information, ranging from enthusiasm to disinterest to anger. Start noticing how your tone of voice affects how others respond to you and try using your tone of voice to emphasize ideas that you want to communicate. For example, if you want to show genuine interest in something, express your enthusiasm by using an animated tone of voice.
Posture
Posture and movement can also convey a great deal of information. Research on body language has grown significantly since the 1970’s, but popular media have focused on the over-interpretation of defensive postures, arm-crossing, and leg-crossing. While these non-verbal behaviours can indicate feelings and attitudes, body language is far more subtle and less definitive that previously believed.
Appearance
Our choice of colour, clothing, hairstyles, and other factors affecting appearance are also considered a means of non-verbal communication. Research on colour psychology has demonstrated that different colours can invoke different moods. Appearance can also alter physiological reactions, judgment, and interpretations.
Head Movement
It is well known that people use head motion during conversation to convey a range of meanings and emotions.
Hand movement
Deliberate movements and signals are an important way to communicate meaning without words. Common gestures include waving, pointing, and using fingers to indicate number amounts. Other gestures could be related to culture.
Eye Contact
When people fail to look other people in the eye, it can seem as if they are evading or trying to hide something. On the other hand, too much eye contact can seem confrontational or intimidating. While eye contact is an important part of communication, it’s important to remember that good eye contact does not mean staring fixedly into someone’s eyes. Don’t stare; however, staring may be interpreted as being hostile or aggressive. If you nod your head from time to time, you acknowledge you are actively listening.
How can you tell how much eye contact is correct? Some communication experts recommend intervals of eye contact lasting four to five seconds.
Aristotle Onassis once admitted that he normally wore dark glasses when negotiating so that his inner thoughts would not be revealed.
- Darting eyes can convey anxiousness or lack of confidence.
- A slow blink can communicate that you don’t enjoy being there.
- Glancing to top right can indicate that you are imagining or making up information.
In African culture direct eye contact is avoided in conversation as it is regarded as disrespectful, arrogant, and even aggressive.
Eye Gaze
Looking, staring, and blinking can also be important non-verbal behaviours. When people encounter people or things that they like, the rate of blinking increases and pupils dilate. Looking at another person can indicate a range of emotions, including hostility, interest, and attraction.
Facial expression
Facial expressions usually communicate emotions. The expressions tell the attitudes of the communicator. Facial expressions are responsible for a huge proportion of non-verbal communication. Consider how much information can be conveyed with a smile or a frown. While non-verbal communication and behaviour can vary dramatically between cultures, the facial expressions for happiness, sadness, anger, and fear are similar throughout the world.
For example, the eyes tend to reveal happiness or sadness and even surprise. The lower face also can reveal happiness or surprise; the smile, for example, can communicate friendliness and cooperation. The lower face, brows, and forehead can also reveal anger.
Closeness
People often refer to their need for “personal space,” which is also an important type of non-verbal communication. The amount of distance we need and the amount of space we perceive as belonging to us is influenced by several factors including social norms, situational factors, personality characteristics, and level of familiarity. For example, the amount of personal space needed when having a casual conversation with another person usually varies between 18 inches to four feet. On the other hand, the personal distance needed when speaking to a crowd of people is around 10 to 12 feet.
Keep your distance
When speaking, don’t get too close, otherwise the listener may feel threatened and become defensive. Of course, that technique is alright if your intention is to intimidate. Maintain a distance that allows you to observe the listeners body language.
6.3 USING NON-VERBAL SIGNALS
Look for different behaviours
If someone’s words do not match their non-verbal behaviours, you should pay careful attention. For example, someone might tell you they are happy while frowning and staring at the ground. When words fail to match up with non-verbal signals, people tend to ignore what has been said and focus instead on non-verbal expressions of moods, thoughts, and emotions.
Ask questions about non-verbal signals
If you are confused about another person’s non-verbal signals, don’t be afraid to ask questions. A good idea is to repeat back your interpretation of what has been said and ask for clarification. An example of this might be, “So what you are saying is that…”
Use signals to make communication more effective and meaningful
Remember that verbal and non-verbal communication work together to convey a message. You can improve your spoken communication by using non-verbal signals and gestures that reinforce and support what you are saying. This can be especially useful when making presentations or when speaking to a large group of people.
Look at signals as a group
A single gesture can mean any number of things, or maybe even nothing at all. The key to accurately reading non-verbal behavior is to look for groups of signals that reinforce a common point. If you place too much emphasis on just one signal out of many, you might come to an inaccurate conclusion about what a person is trying to communicate.
Consider context
When you are communicating with others, always consider the situation and the context in which the communication occurs. Some situations require more formal behaviours that might be interpreted very differently in any other setting. Consider whether non-verbal behaviour is appropriate for the context. If you are trying to improve your own non-verbal communication, concentrate on ways to make your signals match the level of formality necessitated by the situation.
Be aware that signals can be misread
A firm handshake indicates a strong personality while a weak handshake is taken as a lack of stamina. This example illustrates an important point about the possibility of misreading non-verbal signals. A limp handshake might indicate something else entirely, such as arthritis. Always remember to look for groups of behaviour. A person’s overall demeanour is far more telling than a single gesture viewed in isolation.
6.4 TIPS FOR IMPROVING NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION
Strong communication skills can help you in both your personal and professional life. While verbal and written communication skills are important, research has shown that nonverbal behaviours make up a large percentage of our daily interpersonal communication.
How can you improve your nonverbal communication skills? The following tips can help you learn to read the nonverbal signals of other people and enhance your own ability to communicate effectively.
Pay Attention to Non-Verbal Clues
People can communicate information in numerous ways, so pay attention to things like eye contact, gestures, posture, body movements, and tone of voice. All these signals can convey important information that is not put into words.
By paying closer attention to other people’s unspoken behaviours, you will improve your own ability to communicate nonverbally.
Look for Incongruent Behaviours
If someone’s words do not match their nonverbal behaviours, you should pay careful attention. For example, someone might tell you they are happy while frowning and staring at the ground. Research has shown that when words fail to match up with nonverbal signals, people tend to ignore what has been said and focus instead on unspoken expressions of moods, thoughts, and emotions. So, when someone says one thing, but his or her body language seems to suggest something else, it pays to pay extra attention to those subtle nonverbal cues.
Concentrate on Your Tone of Voice When Speaking
Your tone of voice can convey a wealth of information, ranging from enthusiasm to disinterest to anger. Start noticing how your tone of voice affects how others respond to you and try using tone of voice to emphasize ideas that you want to communicate. For example, if you want to show genuine interest in something, express your enthusiasm by using an animated tone of voice.
Use Good Eye Contact
When people fail to look others in the eye, it can seem as if they are evading or trying to hide something. On the other hand, too much eye contact can seem confrontational or intimidating. While eye contact is an important part of communication, it’s important to remember that good eye contact does not mean staring fixedly into someone’s eyes. How can you tell how much eye contact is correct? Some communication experts recommend intervals of eye contact lasting four to five seconds.
Ask Questions about Nonverbal Signals
If you are confused about another person’s nonverbal signals, don’t be afraid to ask questions. A good idea is to repeat back your interpretation of what has been said and ask for clarification. An example of this might be, “So what you are saying is that…” Sometimes simply asking such questions can lend a great deal of clarity to a situation. For example, a person might be giving off certain nonverbal signals because he has something else on his mind. By inquiring further into his message and intent, you might get a better idea of what he is really trying to say.
Use Signals to Make Communication More Effective and Meaningful
Remember that verbal and nonverbal communication work together to convey a message. You can improve your spoken communication by using body language that reinforces and supports what you are saying. This can be especially useful when making presentations or when speaking to a large group of people.
For example, if your goal is to appear confident and prepared during a presentation, you will want to focus on sending nonverbal signals that ensure that others see you as self-assured and capable. Standing firmly in one place, shoulder back, and you weight balanced on both feet is a great way to strike a confident pose.
Look at Signals as a Group
A single gesture can mean any number of things, or maybe even nothing at all. The key to accurately reading nonverbal behaviour is to look for groups of signals that reinforce a common point. If you place too much emphasis on just one signal out of many, you might come to an inaccurate conclusion about what a person is trying to communicate.
Consider Context
When you are communicating with others, always consider the situation and the context in which the communication occurs. Some situations require more formal behaviours that might be interpreted very differently in any other setting.
Consider whether nonverbal behaviours are appropriate for the context. If you are trying to improve your own nonverbal communication, concentrate on ways to make your signals match the level of formality necessitated by the situation.
For example, the body language and nonverbal communication you utilize at work is probably very different from the sort of signals you would send on a casual Friday night out with friends. Strive to match your nonverbal signals to the situation to ensure that you are conveying the message you really want to send.
Be Aware That Signals Can be Misread
According to some, a firm handshake indicates a strong personality while a weak handshake is taken as a lack of fortitude. This example illustrates an important point about the possibility of misreading nonverbal signals. A limp handshake might indicate something else entirely, such as arthritis.
Always remember to look for groups of behaviour. A person’s overall demeanour is far more telling than a single gesture viewed in isolation.
Some people just seem to have a knack for using nonverbal communication effectively and correctly interpreting signals from others. These people are often described as being able to “read people.”
In reality, you can build this skill by paying careful attention to nonverbal behaviour and practicing different types of nonverbal communication with others. By noticing nonverbal behaviour and practicing your own skills, you can.
In conclusion, some people just seem to have a knack for using non-verbal communication effectively and correctly interpreting signals from others. These people are often described as being able to “read people.” You can build this skill by paying careful attention to non-verbal behaviour and practicing different types of non-verbal communication with others. By noticing non-verbal behavior and practicing your own skills, you can dramatically improve your communication abilities.